Harry's Life

The Ride

2008-03-30T06:53:00.003-07:00

Waiting in line patiently
for our turn to ride
The unknown waits,
Subdued now, our pride

Climb in, squeeze a little, and
The bar comes down.
All the waiting over
Smiles replace frowns

Upward higher
Until at the top
Anxiety rises
And then the drop

Fear rushes in
Then laughter resounds
The ride has begun
Excitement is found

Upside down
A curve then a bend
Hands in the air
The thrill never ends

Then suddenly
As quick as the first drop
The ride is over
The fun and laughter stops

Is this it?
Can we go again?
How long is the wait?
Are you willing friend?

Some will say it’s not worth it
A ticket wasted and go,
Others will hesitate slightly
And then they will surely know.

You cannot let the experience
However brief it may be
Keep you from riding again
Despite the long line you see.

Waiting in line patiently
for our turn to ride again
Life, Love, and Happiness
The ride never ends.

Crescent Moon

2008-03-16T08:52:00.004-07:00

Darkness, peace, and solitude
Three close friends surround me
An elevated gaze ignites a glow
A crescent moon smiling I see

Have you ever imagined?
Something so small
Could dispel the night
Causing shadows to fall?

Stars surrounding trying their best
To compare to it’s style
But nothing comes close
To the light of this smile

Slowly it falls
In the western sky
Can it last the night?
And then comes a sigh.

However long it stays
To me it matters not
I stared at its beauty
All my woes I forgot

My eyes grew tired
And sleep took me away
Dreams of crescent moons
A welcome end to day

I woke with a smile
happy to see
What this moon was reflecting
Was clear to me

In the dark lonely night
A bright morning I can see
Wondrous reflections at midnight
Crescent moon smiling at me.

Poem - Hand Me Another Brick

2008-03-10T09:41:00.001-07:00

In the midst of sadness and emotions I can’t control,
I am finding there is someone inside me that tries to console
He whispers softly, arrogantly, “It’s OK, I know a little trick”
Then he quickly and reassuringly hands me another brick.

Oh I have been here before but with a sturdy, well built wall intact
It protected me from sadness waves and pushed the sea of emotions back
Cheerfulness and sunshine occasionally, briefly, breached my wall
But the wall’s shadow kept their visit short, you see, it was so tall.

There is something missing inside the wall that behind it cannot survive
It is love which needs to reach out and be open allowing it to thrive
“Like” and “fondness” do very well in the shade of my massive wall
But Love needs light and space and for some reason, on others it must fall.

When pain, hurt, guilt, and fear roll in, it’s nice to have defense
These emotions crash upon the bricks leaving you “emotionless”
Joy, happiness, excitement, and bliss are just outside always ready to please
They occasionally peek through a crack or chink, enough to set your heart at ease.

It took a while and some convincing but alas’ I tore it down
A little hole at first and then brick by brick until only rubble lay around
“There,” I said, “let the feelings come, I don’t need protection here”
“I will handle the joy and pains with confidence and cheer.”

A noble endeavor indeed but I waxed vulnerable and melancholy
And the hurt outweighed the bliss and left me cold and lonely
I was not as bad before, behind my wall, and solitude was delight
A bulwark so strong, protective, and secure, I never lost a fight.

So build it back and higher than ever before
Shore up the cracks with apathy, close and lock the door
Love is vain, laughter is fleeting, and happiness blooms but a day
Pain is enduring, hurt is scaring, and sadness lingers her stay.

Through my tears of sadness I take another gander
At the last hole to the outside life that I will soon abandon
It will soon be over, the barricade will be quick
I dry my eyes, bow my head, and reach for another brick.

At Home in the Valley

2007-01-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

Job 14:1-6

Despite some popular preaching today, we are not afforded unlimited "mountain top" experiences in our life. The mountain tops are few in our mortality. The valleys are where we spend most of our time. Understanding them, and getting through them is what we are all about. Consider the following:

1) God uses the valleys of our life to keep us dependent upon him. It is he and he alone that will get us through the dark times. It is in the valley where we first recognize that God is our light. It is in the valley where we depend upon God as our spiritual guide. (Psalm 23)

2) God intends for the valley to be a time of spiritual restoration and fulfillment. The valleys are not there to provide God an opportunity to get us out of the valley but affords us the chance of depending upon Him to get us through the valleys. (Job 39:19-21)

3) The valleys are a place in which God exalts those that are made low because of the valley. It may not seem to be this way but there is a time coming when all the books will be balanced and all the wrongs righted. (Isaiah 40:4, Luke 3:5)

No matter what your valley is, remember it is your valley and God has a purpose in it. Enjoy the mountain tops but remember that the real work is done in the valley. Persevere in the valley today.

Poem About Life

2007-01-19T20:11:00.000-07:00

How could this happen?
How could this be?
Another blow to my heart,
Darkness again I see.

Down came the walls,
I remember the fear,
Of opening my heart
Exposing parts so dear.

Sleepless nights,
Fear filled days,
Life has turned to dread
Living alone, in a haze.

Can a man live without love?
Is it possible to be free,
From the angst of concern,
From pain’s shopping spree?

Failure stalks me day and night.
I cannot escape, there is nowhere to hide.
Death seems a welcomed friend,
A peaceful life on the other side.

One day at a time.
What a cliché.
What else is there?
I must surely stay.

Hope must be near
Though hidden from sight.
A soul quest must continue,
Though weak, I must fight.

The pursuit of happiness,
Is not a journey light.
Each mile is treacherous,
With day comes new blight.

Pressing forward,
On crumbs of hope,
The soul remains hungry,
Enough to cope.

This cannot be a futile task.
I must believe it is true,
That life can be fruitful,
That love has the clue.

How could this happen?
How could this be?
It is a choice not fate,
I am doing this to me!

Perceptions and Expectations

2005-08-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

Two of the biggest culprits in changing emotional direction and creating different life scenarios are perception and expectations. Beginning to think about this, my percpeption of this subject lead me write about it showing how that both of these things can really "mess up your life." Having done some thinking (albeit brief) these two human conditions can also "make your life better."

Perception of someone elses behavior. Though we have experienced misperception from other people about our behavior in the past, still we continue to "judge" and create our own reasoning why someone has behaved or is behaving in a certain way. Why? Well, it is easier simply to get angry, judge, and dismiss the action of another person as hateful, loathsome, and not "socially acceptable" and go on. It is more difficult and requires more of us not to JUDGE, to allow for the possibility that we truly do not know the whole circumstances that this person is under at this time. We may think we do but how many times have you struggled with something inside that effected your demeanor outside and perhaps your actions, and all of sudden people had labeled you with their perceptions? Perhaps it is the fear of not having a secure and given outlet for our own emotions that we must re-act to our perception of others. I am continually amazed at how quickly and how emotionally some people (mind you intelligent socially connected people) react to situations they know little of and certainly have no idea what is in the mind of the individual they are reacting to.

Expectations cannot be, nor should they be, extinguished. Expectations or hopes, are at the center of our core being. With that said, I can also say that expectations and how they are created. Many expectations about life, love, happiness, come from the script that an individual has created over their life time. The script, is written with boundaries and barriers that form the persons expectations. This life script can change but doesn't very often. Trauma changes a life script. By trauma, I do not mean you have to have an arm cut off or physical abuse to happen, though those things certainly are trauma. Death, birth, marriage, divorce, and you can put in the rest, can severely alter one's life script (good or bad -- but that is perception :-) I would love to give you an example of a life script and how it is changed but expect that you might think and have the perception that it is my life script and think badly of me --- (( JUST KIDDING)) Certainly, one thing is clear as to expectations. One must either minimize their expectations to those expectations that are clearly truth (another subject for another day) or at least have some realistic view that expectations are merely desires that one outcome would be favored over another but if it does not come out to be so, it will not change your script.

I have said before that I have eliminated expectations from my life. When my life script was changed, I found it easier not to have expectations about anything or anyone and never be disappointed. In fact, I was often pleasantly surprised at the good things that came my way, and acceptant of the bad. Well, that didn't work for long! I cannot get expectations out of my life script but it was a noble experiement. Now, I do have certain expectations, accept the rationale behind that, and protect myself with minimizing expectations that will effect my emotional well-being.

More later

2005-07-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

Harry 2003

Decisions and Directions

2005-07-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

Numbers 13:16-33

When we are faced with a decision, one of the endeavors we are taught to initiate is to make a list of the positive and negatives of each possible resolve. The process may even include giving weight to each item in the columns to calculate a decision. This appears to be a fail safe system in making a right decision or, at the very least, a reckoned resolution. Unfortunately, many people fail to include the most important item. This one factor is so weighty that it will tip the scales no matter how many negative or positives there are. This one concern is in a question, “What would God have us to do?”

The children of Israel already knew God’s will in the decision to go into the land or stay in the wilderness. Yet the 10 spies listed the negatives and positives (very few) and the choice was made almost unanimous resolution. The decision was the w wrong decision. When God’s will is unknown to us, then the course we take should be a cautious one but when his direction is crystal clear, the opposing or confident consequences should be set aside in favor of His sovereignty.

God expects us to enter the doors that he has opened to us. When we are obedient and seeking his will he will avail to us the opportunities and He expects us to step out in faith. The Bible tells us that those who trust him and obey him will be directed in the path He has chosen (Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 37:23)

Lord, I want to be happy!

2005-07-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

Psalm 105:16-22

“Lord I want to be happy! I want to feel the excitement and glee of circumstances gone right! Please, Lord, I have too long been plagued by situations out of step that serve only to slow my pace or cause me to stumble!”

Have you ever prayed a prayer like this one? Now that you have seen it, would you like to pray it? During a 13 year stint of time, perhaps Joseph cried this prayer, wetting his pillow with melancholy tears. Circumstances changed and they were often intolerable for the dreamer by our standards. Yet through all of the difficult times, Joseph held on to his faith and the dream that God had given him. He did not compromise either of the two.

Easy preaching right?! I am still not happy. Well, I am not sure I have any answer for you but we can look at Joseph’s life and gain some insight.

1) Joseph adapted, eventually, to his circumstances. Good or bad, ideal or inferior, the dreamer made the best out of every situation he found himself in. Often in our lives we are not happy because of our inability to adapt to the predicaments that God has allowed us to be in.

2) Jacob’s son used the talent he had learned and the gifts that God had given him wherever he was. One of the brightest stars of our life is the insight and capabilities that come from God. Stir up the gift that is inside of you and use it wherever in God’s will you find yourself.

3) Finally, Joseph kept dreaming. He continued to cling to the dream that God had bestowed to him. He remained faithful to the God of the dream as well. Time did not extinguish it, nor did adversity steal it from him. The dream remained his. As we cry our lonesome cry unto the Lord to be happy, remember and emulate the life of the dreamer. Who knows, you might find yourself as happy as he.